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Yeah, you know who you are. You're never going to be your father, no way. That guy was so uptight, and seemed a million years old. You're more the type who "connects" with his kids, can "drop in" at the skate park, and shops at the same clothing stores as they do. You're simply the envy of parent pick-up. And yes. You're probably in a band.
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Don't make me take my hoops out. I'm literally on the verge of smacking that cheap face off your head. If you don't come with me right now to the club and down 14 shots of Jäger with me, I'm telling everyone about that night you spent passed out, face-down on the pavement outside the Sheetz drive-thru window, plain cheeseburger in hand.
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Real men have curves. And now there’s no reason to feel guilty! Thanks to an incredible development in the “hot guy” category, Dad Bods are officially in and 21-year-olds are officially into you. And everyone knows 21-year-olds are never wrong! So toss out that kale salad and grab another box of Birthday Cake Oreos. At least when things seem gender unfair, you’re still coming out on the winning side.
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It's ten a.m. somewhere. Honestly, Saturdays were made for day drinking. And Sundays. And Fridays, Mondays, and Thursdays. But don't feel guilty about it. It's like going to brunch, except hold the chicken and waffles. You don't want all that heavy grease and gluten screwing with your buzz anyway.
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A Candle for Dog People, Our Dog People Candle is for all you special people who have rescued fur babies—or did they rescue you? It takes a lot of patience with the drool, mud, and sometimes the pee accidents, but the unconditional love in return is priceless! It's a perfect gift for canine lovers, vets, and new puppy parents. Scented: Grassy Dog Park Net Weight: Approximately 10 oz. Burn time: 60 hours Note: Because all our candles are handmade, no two are identical. © 2020 Whiskey River Soap Co. Always hand-poured and made with our exclusive blend of 100% soy wax and 0% bullshit. Fragrance blends match each concept and corresponding soap. Glass vessel dimensions: 4" D x 2 ½" H Made in the USA
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Meetings. The icing on the arsenic cake that is any weekday morning, afternoon or evening. And speaking of evenings... didja have to schedule the WebEx for 6:15 p.m. on a Friday, Becky? All to tell me you’d put feedback in the Powerpoint? Because you couldn’t put that in a fucking email? Don't worry. I'll text you all my feedback on Saturday around dawn.
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Om. I don't get it. I've been sitting here raking the litter box for the last two hours and I don't feel anything but annoyed, and frankly, a little nauseous. Whoever said zen gardens are meditative and spiritually healing never met my cat, Bill the Shitter. Yeah, I know. I could buy a "real" zen garden but that would cut into my beer money. And that shit ain't happening.
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A Candle for Hot Moms Smells like fit mommies and cold juice boxes Scent: Fresh Fruit Scented, Fragrance: Black Raspberry Net Weight: Approximately 10 oz. Burn time: 60 hours Note: Because all our candles are handmade, no two are identical. © 2020 Whiskey River Soap Co. Always hand-poured and made with our exclusive blend of 100% soy wax and 0% bullshit. Fragrance blends match each concept and corresponding soap. Glass vessel dimensions: 4" D x 2 ½" H Made in the USA
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A Candle for Karma What goes around... It comes around, we hope. And we're not necessarily talking about tricky STDs here, although, y'know, you reap what you sow. Hey! We didn't invent karma. You put all that good stuff out into the universe, and you're supposed to get it back, whether through good fortune, limited-time, minimum-purchase-required Olive Garden coupons, or whatever else you truly desire—and if you put those bad, icky vibes out there—not our fault. You know the deal. No free coupons for breadsticks are in your mailbox, pal. Not a one. Scent: Laughing Buddha (Indian Sandalwood) Net Weight: Approximately 10 oz. Burn time: 60 hours Note: Because all our candles are handmade, no two are identical. © 2020 Whiskey River Soap Co. Always hand-poured and made with our exclusive blend of 100% soy wax and 0% bullshit. Fragrance blends match each concept and corresponding soap. Glass vessel dimensions: 4" D x 2 ½" H Made in the USA
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A Candle for Stoners It's 4:20 somewhere... Blaze it! You don’t have to be in Colorado to get stoned; but it kinda helps when you don’t have to buy your grass from the sketchy high school D.A.R.E. officer like the rest of us. Best to keep this candle around for when the boys in blue show up. Its hypnotic shades of green and dank cannabis scent will provide the perfect cover for that weird smell in your apartment. Scent: Cannabis Net Weight: Approximately 10 oz. Burn time: 60 hours Note: Because all our candles are handmade, no two are identical. © 2020 Whiskey River Soap Co. Always hand-poured and made with our exclusive blend of 100% soy wax and 0% bullshit. Fragrance blends match each concept and corresponding soap. Glass vessel dimensions: 4" D x 2 ½" H Made in the USA
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Honey, hand me that bottle? Or...did you see Third Eye Blind is coming to town?
Your auntie needs another top-off. It's been a week, I tell ya. My work load is intense and my dating life is an absolute train wreck. Honestly, coming over to see my favorite nieces and nephews is giving me life right now. When is the next show?
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I'm not one to brag. And that's just one of the reasons I'm the favorite child. Intelligence, charm, rugged good looks, and modesty. Mom and Dad said they broke the mold when they made me. But I'm not supposed to tell you that. I hear you're pretty fragile. And that's why I'm so nice to you! Honestly, you're so lucky to have me as a sibling. Seriously! It just so happens I am the youngest AND the favorite child (of 5) in my family.
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A Candle for The Middle Child Who are you again? The only thing worse than being unnoticed is still being unnoticed when your hair is neon pink, and you dress like you’re in the Matrix. Um, hello? Being the first child ain’t all that. The only people who think so are #1. My older sibling and #2. My dumb parents. And I haven’t even gotten to the part about the (cry)baby of the family. Ay caramba. Scent: Purple Haze (Grape) Net Weight: Approximately 10 oz. Burn time: 60 hours Note: Because all our candles are handmade, no two are identical. © 2020 Whiskey River Soap Co. Always hand-poured and made with our exclusive blend of 100% soy wax and 0% bullshit. Fragrance blends match each concept and corresponding soap. Glass vessel dimensions: 4" D x 2 ½" H Made in the USA
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Record every brilliant idea that pops into your mind with our chic, minimalist pocket journals. A Journal is a blank canvas for self-care and self-expression. It is a wonderful gift for someone who wants to reduce stress and improve mental well-being. 5 ½” wide 8 ½” length
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Sale!A Woman is Only Helpless When Her Nail Polish is Drying Zipper Pouch This fun yet functional zipper pouch makes the perfect gift! It’s made of 100% durable cotton canvas, with a black YKK zipper. At 7.5” wide by 6” tall, it’s the perfect size to throw in your bag! It’s the perfect size for makeup, nail polish, coupons, spending money, receipts, office supplies, and so much more!
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This stylish acrylic key tag is the perfect motivation as you grab your keys and head out to start your day! It's complete with a white tassel and fun phrase, a great addition to top off any Engagement or Shower gift!
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This stylish acrylic key tag is the perfect motivation as you grab your keys and head out to start your day! It's complete with a colorful tassel and fun phrase, a great addition to top off any gift! Perfect gift for any Bridesmaid
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This stylish belt bag combines fashion and functionality. Whether you’re heading to a music festival or exploring the city, this belt bag has you covered. This belt bag is not only practical but also trendy. With an eye-catching pattern and thoughtful design features, it's a must-have accessory for anyone looking to elevate their style while keeping essentials close at hand.
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Hats are made to order and fresh off the engraver! They may have a scorch/burn scent to them initially but will fade overtime as exposed to air! The design is engraved into the patch and not vinyl or any sort of sticker. Select the color of hat and patch! The patch color chestnut is darker brown engraves black and the color black engraves silver, both are made from vegan leather.
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Hats are made to order and fresh off the engraver! They may have a scorch/burn scent to them initially but will fade overtime as exposed to air! The design is engraved into the patch and not vinyl or any sort of sticker. Select the color of hat and patch! The patch color chestnut is darker brown engraves black and the color black engraves silver, both are made from vegan leather. Perfect gift for any Veteran!
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Black hat with Chestnut Patch. Hats are made to order and fresh off the engraver! They may have a scorch/burn scent to them initially but will fade overtime as exposed to air! The design is engraved into the patch and not vinyl or any sort of sticker. Select the color of hat and patch! The patch color chestnut is darker brown engraves black and the color black engraves silver, both are made from vegan leather. Perfect gift for any Patriot!
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Channel your inner yogi with Myga’s Yoga Pose Cards, with 70 different illustrated poses to aid you on your yoga & mindfulness journey, such as the Full Lotus, Half Lord of the Fishes, and the Downward Facing Dog. They are divided into three different asana (pose) categories: standing poses, seated poses, and lying down poses. The poses are easily differentiated with the three distinct colors: - Green: Standing Poses - Blue: Seated Poses - Pink: Lying Down Poses Our Yoga Pose Cards make a great resource for beginners and experienced yogis, yoga teachers and students alike. They are perfect for popping into your bag and taking along for a fun filled yoga session with a group of friends or family
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Aged to Perfection Greeting Card Experience the simplicity and elegance of this Greeting Card. Crafted with care in the USA and hand-assembled in Columbus, Ohio, this card measures 5.5” x 4.25” when folded. It’s perfect for conveying warm wishes and birthday greetings. Each card comes with an included envelope, making it easier for you to share your sentiments. Made in the United States
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Every wine lover needs this doormat at their house. Don't you think?
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Show off your patriotism and love for America with this festive red, white, and blue throw pillow that features a U.S. flag design. Crafted from soft acrylic, this small-sized throw pillow is sure to bring a smile to your face every time you look at it.
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Discover the charm of this Gildan 18000 Graphic Sweatshirts – where comfort meets creative design. These unisex pullovers are not just a cozy addition to your wardrobe but also a canvas for expressive and unique graphics. Perfect for wearing over a swimsuit or around your waist during the summer holidays. Or all year round when the weather permits.
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This wood coaster has a durable UV coating that makes it perfect. The sentiment is sure to bring a laugh. The coaster has a cork backing to prevent scratching on all surfaces.
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Looking for an easy and impactful gift? This 5 x 5 sign is perfect for any loved one. 5" X 5" X 1.5" Wood Framed Sign (Ask-hole) White/Gray.
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Record every brilliant idea that pops into your mind with our chic, minimalist pocket journals. A Journal is a blank canvas for self-care and self-expression. It is a wonderful gift for someone who wants to reduce stress and improve mental well-being. 5 ½” wide 8 ½” length
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Awesome Dog Funny Greeting Card A true human connection might be rigid to come by. But dogs…they just get it. Celebrate your puppy love with this clever greeting card. This birthday card is letterpress printed on a vintage Windmill press in Raleigh, NC. Each card is 100% cotton paper, blank inside, includes a kraft envelope and cell sleeve, A2 size (4.25” x 5.5”) Made in the United States
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B*tch Don’t Lose Me Ring Dish Because we know you’re always losing shit. Newly designed petite ring dish! Product Dimensions: 3” diameter x .75” height
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Thick, durable vinyl sticker won't scratch or fade. Perfect for water bottles, coffee mugs, journals, laptops, cars, or whatever else you want to make look awesome.
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This is a custom-painted doormat for your home. It measures 18 inches by 30 inches and is painted and sealed for added durability. Perfect Baby Shower or Newborn Gift
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Deck out your party with this cool, black and red paper banner. The "Kissing The Single Life Goodbye" word pennants are a fun, decorative way to welcome your guests and pull together a XOXO bachelorette or bridal shower theme. The cute, inexpensive banner is strung on a ribbon so you can hang it wherever best suits your décor at your house or party venue. It can be placed on the wall above the snack table, across doorways, on the mantle, or along table edges! It’s a great idea for a paper decoration that’s cheap in price and easy to put up. Plus, the string of words adds to the wow factor your guests experience when they walk into the room and will look fabulous in any photos people snap during the party!
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All of the fun and delight of silly straws with a bachelorette twist. The fuchsia pink straw is curved into elaborate twists and turns that write out the word "Bride." A cute drink accessory for the bride, it can even act as a drink marker to help her keep track of her drink throughout the night. A cheap piece of bachelorette party supplies, the words straw is an awesome cocktail novelty item that’s great for photo ops. One of those inexpensive accessories that can be the finishing touch to party décor. Plus, it’s a cool favor to remind the bride of her bachelorette that she can use for other wedding events like the engagement party or bridal shower!
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All of the fun and delight of silly straws with a bachelorette twist. The lime green straw is curved into elaborate twists and turns that write out the word "Party." A cute drink accessory for the rest of your party guests, it can even be made into a drink marker to help guests keep track of their drinks throughout the night. A cheap piece of bachelorette party supplies, the words straws are an awesome cocktail novelty item that’s great for photo ops. One of those inexpensive accessories that can be the finishing touch to party décor. Plus, it’s a cool favor for party guests that they can use for other special occasions like a birthday!
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All of the fun and delight of silly straws with a bachelorette twist. The fuchsia pink straw is curved into elaborate twists and turns that write out the word "Squad." A cute drink accessory for your bridesmaids, they can even be made into a drink marker to help the bridal party keep track of their drinks throughout the night. A cheap piece of bachelorette party supplies, the words straws are an awesome cocktail novelty item that’s great for photo ops. One of those inexpensive accessories that can be the finishing touch to party décor. Plus, it’s a cool favor to remind the bridesmaids of the bachelorette that they can use for other wedding events like the engagement party or bridal shower!
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Experience the comfort and style of the Bad Hair Day Embroidered Hat. Perfect gift for any Babe in your life, including yourself!
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Record every brilliant idea that pops into your mind with our chic, minimalist pocket journals. A Journal is a blank canvas for self-care and self-expression. It is a wonderful gift for someone who wants to reduce stress and improve mental well-being. 5 ½” wide 8 ½” length
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This sticker is made with commercial printers to create a long lasting & durable product. Can be used on anything from car windows, laptops, tumblers/coffee mugs, phone cases, and so much more!
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Welcome to the badass babes club! This blank notebook is designed to take with you wherever you go for note taking anywhere. With a design that will inspire you to be the badass babe that we know you are ;) Mulberry Linen Cover, Rose Gold Foil 3” x 4” 65 unlined interior pages Bronze wire O Binding Made in the USA
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Bark Soda Pupster Energy Dog Plush Toy Nothing compares to the refreshing, squeaky Bark Soda. Wrapped in soft plush and stuffed with a full-body tube squeaker that’s sure to please your dog. Refresh the taste and grab a cold, fizzy soda drink today. Perfect party companion for your pooch. Ideal for toss and fetch. Measures: 6”
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Baseball Gameday Bling Glam AB Color Rhinestone Embellished Double Wall Insulated Stainless Steel Tumbler Thermal Flask - 40 oz It's a great gift for any Baseball/Softball Mom.

















































